Vaporous

 "and you do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a time and then vanishes away" James 4:14. (NKJ)

Many women hate to tell their age. I have no such hang-ups about age. In a month I will be 51 years old. To me that is amazing. Especially since I didn't think I would live to reach 30. There were times, I didn't want to reach 20. My life was so miserable, I thought it was way to long to live through a day.

Sexually abused by my Father, bullied at school for being of one of the areas poorest families, ignored by teachers imagining I wasn't worth the time to teach me, lonely and isolated, life was so rotten, suicide was a poplar notion.

I grew more afraid of men and people in general that my isolation became actually terror of public places.

Was help ever going to come or was I destined to kill myself? 

I needed help---where was God?

I knew a God existed but I had no idea that I needed to approach Him through His Son in His perfection. I thought He should do something for me. I didn't know anything about sin verses righteousness. No one had ever explained to me that I was an enemy of God, and unforgiven because of Adam. I imagined God looked down and helped those like me who needed pity. If God were so loving and kind and good, God should help me because I needed help and no human was helping me.

I can't describe all of my life and the day to day thoughts and struggles and survival. I can't explain the hate, rages, fear, and panic. I can't explain the desperation for love that I would allow men to use me. I can't explain the drug and alcohol use that took me away from myself and made life light and fun for a time. Then comes the bitterness of the sickening aftertaste. That is too much to tell. *

But....

Isn't it great there is a but?

But, now that I have the answer, I am going to have my 51 birthday in June of 2014.

My answer is Jesus Christ. My life is Jesus Christ.

My 51 years seems a long time, yet God says I've only lived as a vapor. Poof, I'm born, lived and died. God sees all of that and He sees me with Him now as today. God sees me in my new body living the abundant, glorious life on His new earth He promises to all who believe in Him.

"Declaring the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things that are not yet done, saying, 'My counsel shall stand, and I will do all My pleasure" Isaiah 46:10. (NKJ)

I'm a vaporous puff on this earth but for eternity, I am a forever child of God.

"Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them" Psalm 139: 16. (NKJ)

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great are the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with You" Psalm 139: 17, 18. (NKJ)


God gives abundant life!

*(If you want a few more details, click the My Testimony Button in the left panel of this blog.)