5 Painless Ways to be a Submissive Wife

    Are you a seeker of adventure and excitement yet your marriage stalled or become routine? How would you feel about attempting something new in your approach to being a wife? 

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord" 

    Ephesians 5: 22 is a very familiar verse but the thought of being a submissive wife causes heart palpitations, sweaty hands, and produces nightmares in many women, and not without reasons. It sets us up to be hurt and that vulnerability can be life threatening in certain circumstances.

    If your husband is an abusive man to begin with, this is not your best arena, so forget it. There are laws that protect women against abuse and an abused woman needs to utilize all the necessary help she can to keep herself and/or her children safe.

    But if you are free in an non-abusive marriage and want to attempt to be submissive, this is a good way to respect your husband’s ability to maintain his position as husband, (he is Keeper of the garden—the Garden that’s you) Try these simple actions and he may not even notice what you’ve done. But go ahead; secretly enjoy your new status. You could be pleasantly surprised at the difference in your marriage. You can do one of these a week, or all in one day, but challenge yourself if the submissive wife is an area you’ve never explored before.

1. Speak kindly to him in the morning. Sometime before you part for the day, or begin your daily routine, say something nice about him or to him.

·       I like that shirt/tie/shoes/suit/blue jeans…

·       You like him shaved/or like his whiskers

·       Remark with praise about something he did previously

2. If he frequently misplaces items, do not remind him. If it is an object he often loses put it somewhere he can easily find it. If he asks where something is, without any fuss, tell him, or get it for him.

3. Does he have a favorite snack? Buy it for him once a week. Or cook him a favorite meal. Men may not let on about certain things that please them but a wife can usually coax it out with a favorite food. If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ll recognize when he is well pleased. Foods can draw out his nicer nature.

4. Touch him in passing, just a small brush on his arm on the way by. If you pass where he’s sitting, give him a pat on the head. If he asks or looks at you, just smile, shrug, or laugh a little. Don’t make a big deal out of it but as your husband, he does belong to you, so make a point of connecting.

5. Say something kind to him before going to bed.

·       Good night, Love/Honey/His name.

·       Sleep well.

·       Thank you for hanging up your coat, putting the towel in the hamper, etc….

   

    As you continue to look to development of his husbandry work in your life, (Keeper of the garden—the Garden that’s you), after a while, the considerate remarks will become easier to say, and you’ll become more diversified in your acts of kindness.

    But don’t get discouraged if there’s no recordable change in your husband. Don’t get hung up if he doesn’t pay any attention to what you’re doing, the benefits to being a submissive wife are not always in changing him but the attitude change in you. In a while, you should notice a better state of mind in yourself and it shouldn’t hurt you, him, your family, or your marriage at all.

    If you went into your marriage considering it a two-way contract, than submissiveness was never an option. That does not mean you can’t add this aspect to it now. Even the challenge may give you the excitement to try it. After all, if excitement is what you want in your relationship, a secret drama can give you the spark you need.

   

Adaptation Strengthens Character

“When he arose, he took the young Child and His mother by night and departed for Egypt” Matthew 2: 14.

Mary, the mother of Jesus, went through many changes early on in her marriage. We know from Scripture, her home life took a few odd turns, some very severe. Yet, she seems to have had a very compilable spirit that accepted change easily. Though we have scant information of her attitude in all her circumstances, she does appear willing to adapt to drastic measures for the safety of her Child. 

If her husband, family, or home is in need, upheaval, or odd circumstances, a woman should not evade big changes. Many times adaptation strengthens a woman’s character and worth. Knowledge utilized in practicality is essential for a good home; and home is anywhere the family lives.

 Adaptation Strengthens Character

 

Free Download PDF booklet on Prayer

Ever been at a loss for prayer because all you have is a person's name and know nothing else about them. Do not feel alone, this is a common place for many Christians.

 

Ten Things to Pray for in the Lives of Others  

answers these questions:

• I know nothing about this person?

• What do I say to God about this person?

• What does this person need? 

   

And you will find these topics in the free booklet 

• Holiness

• Safety

• Finances

And 7 more, all with sound reasoning and most with Biblical references for asking God to intervene on anyone's behalf.

You will find a link to a Free Downloadable PDF book that gives ten subjects in which to intercede on behalf of others.  By understanding that everyone else in the world has the same needs as yourself, you will never be at a loss for things to take to God in prayer.

 

Read a quote from the booklet:

"The topic of prayer is common for it connects Christians to God in a personal way. Prayer is the rope of language tying our faith to an invisible God. When speaking to God, verbally or silently, we make our faith truth. Every day we need to grasp faith through prayer, and exercise one of the loveliest actions of worship we can offer."

Click the Button below to receive your copy of the PDF 

Ten Things to Pray for in the Lives of Others 

 

 

The Gospel for *Anna: Part 1 of 4

"But He needed to go through Samaria" John 4:4

Sometimes we need to go somewhere for the Gospel to get to someone we least expect to meet.

This is the story of how the Gospel got to *Anna.

Anna is my sister's sister-in-law. She and my sister married brothers. I had only met Anna occasionally but I have prayed for her frequently. Since meeting Anna, I have prayed for her and her husband to meet Jesus and accept Him as her Savior, something I do for my sister and her husband as well. They're family and Jesus died for their sins as well as mine. They should go to heaven too because of Jesus' sacrifice for their sins. I pray often for them to come to know Jesus. As soon as I met her for the first time about five years ago, I prayed for the opportunity to tell Anna about Jesus.

The Ladies Activities Committee at our church schedules something for almost every weekend. Near the beginning of the new year, the Committee agreed we could eat out somewhere and I would present a talk on Biblical-based News Years Resolutions. We made a pending agreement for our group to meet at a newly opened restaurant, hoping to utilize a room, or at least space for our group to meet, have lunch, and allow my presentation. The Pastor's wife agreed to approach the restaurant with our petition. The schedule was set by the Committee and the Date & Place were entered into the Activities' Calendar. This was to be entered into the church bulletin and have a signup sheet to give a rough count to the restaurant as to how many were coming.

At the Committee activities meeting there were plans made concerning the gamut of Spring Scheduling. Because of the discussion going on about my speaking and all the other calender events, I left imagining I was going to be speaking not only to our group but also women from churches in neighboring towns. We're not very big and we often asked our neighbors to join us. I also was under the impression we were going to invite everyone we could to join us. Somehow, I became convinced the gathering was Outreach to anyone and everyone, for that was discussed as well.

I was happily getting my presentation together, and inviting anyone I could. It came down to two Saturdays before our gathering and I discover no one else was doing anything. The restaurant hadn't been approached and the sigh-up sheet was nonexistent. It wasn't in the Bulletin but only an announcement was made on Sunday morning. I was only slightly worried.

I called my Pastor's wife Monday to tell her how many I had invited and that I was expecting at least twenty-five so far. She asked me how I had come to that amount of people since it was only our church ladies and their daughters. To my embarrassment, I now learned I was sorely mistaken about the entire Activity. Oh no, I had sent invitations out to over forty people on my Facebook page!

That night, I cried and cried, praying to God my disappointment that it wasn't an Outreach at all. What had gone wrong, God? How had I made such a mistake? I had told so many to invite their unsaved women friends and daughters. How had I not understood that it wasn't a opportunity to present the Gospel? God, I so love to talk about You and I was so looking forward to this opportunity? How did I get it so wrong?

Notice how many 'I's had mentioned in my prayer? I was still talking to God like this Tuesday morning. I was so disappointed, and a little angry.

*Anna is not her real name.

The Gospel for *Anna: Part 2 of 4

"But He needed to go through Samaria" John 4:4

This is the second part of how God answered a prayer I first made about five years previous. I asked Him to somehow let my sister's sister-in-law hear the Gospel. As I frequently pray this for the many unsaved I meet, I asked also, if not from me, then let *Anna hear it from somebody. Just get the Gospel to her, Lord, so she'll know.

I had thought I would be speaking to a large group, and I had invited so many! How disappointed I was to find I would only speaking to a dozen to fifteen ladies, all familiar and 'old news'. I had planned so hard for this presentation, even preparing an interactive group participation. My prayers Tuesday morning were wet with tears and distraught words. "Why, God, had I gotten it so wrong? How had I so misunderstood?"

Monday night, I'd called my Pastor's wife to ask about the scheduled meeting, since I neither saw nor heard any progress report Sunday. She was surprised that I had misunderstood and suggested I call the restaurant and see if they could accommodate such a large crowd. She was sorry that I had misunderstood but maybe it could be worked out.

Tuesday morning, I was crying. I told my husband, but he had no advice. I called my best friend, (she attends another church, but she is a definite invitee) and told her it was all off. It wasn't an Outreach after-all and what was planned would just be the ladies from our church having lunch and a devotional. But would she like to ride with me the thirty miles to check out the restaurant? "Sorry, no," was her reply. She had an outing that afternoon and we might not be back in time. "Why don't I just call  the restaurant instead?"

I was so upset with God, the ladies, my friend, and my husband, arrghhh! Have you noticed how many 'I's there are in my problem? (too much pride, yes?)

Everything was a mess! Something had to be done. Maybe this was a test God was putting me through testing my obedience through this trial so He could get the glory from my perseverance. Making up my mind, I got myself together to leave. I didn't even ask my husband for any money. I had a five dollar bill and a two dollar roll of nickles. I would see if God would make everything work out and it would be the Outreach I imagined after-all.

On the way, I would stop at my sister's to ask about the exercise machine she promised me. She usually has Tuesday off. I would offer to help her clean her cluttered backroom when I got back and take the machine then.

She had gone to work instead. But the trailer interior was rearranged, the backroom was open and everything stacked neatly and packed in boxes. My sister's husband is deaf but can read lips somewhat adequately. In our difficult conversation, he asked about storing a lot of stuff in our barn and attic for a while. And the exercise machine would be delivered. He said Anna and his brother would be moving in with them the next day. His brother, Anna's husband has Crohne's disease, and was very ill. He couldn't work and Anna's part-time employment wasn't enough to pay for their apartment rent.

My sister worked in the same town where the restaurant is, so I thought I would stop and talk to her about storing her stuff at our place and the Elliptical machine. One spot of good news, I was getting the Elliptical machine anyway.

I headed out, thinking about my destination and what I was going for. I had $7.00, and thought at least I could maybe get a small sandwich or a bowl of soup and sit and check out the place. If it wasn't enough, I'd have a cup of coffee. I began crying again. A few miles later, I decided to give up on the whole idea. It was all a mistake. I got it wrong and that was that. "I'd made a mess of it-you fix it God, I can't." Upset, I intended to just drive around as long as I had some gas. No one was expecting me anywhere. My husband knew I wouldn't be back for a few hours anyway. I'd just drive around, cry and pray.

I drove a few more miles, actually headed away from my original destination, and God says, "Susan, why don't you just go and ask?" Hearing Him say that changed my mind again. I stopped crying and started praying, "Whatever it is You want, Lord, I'll do it. I don't understand any of this, but if You say so, make it bring You glory. And, oh by the way, help Anna and her husband, he's sick and they're in need of help."

I arrived too early, the restaurant wasn't open yet. As I look up the street, I thought all I can do is go in and speak to the manager about the size of the space available and could we possibly have it for a Christian Women's Outreach, complete with speaker? We would be ordering from the menu after-all, and it was good business, right?

But what if the manager wants some information about our church! I have nothing. I haven't programed my new cell phone with the church numbers yet! I don't even have a bulletin with me. I'll look stupid. More troubles.

I drive to the lake and sit there for a while trying to think of what to do. It was then God reminds me I almost always carry a Bible tract in my pocket. Sure enough, there it was and it has the church information stamped on the back. I am ecstatic, praising God. "Wow, God, this could turn into the Outreach I was expecting after-all. I can give the manager the Bible Tract and You, Lord could have them read it. Awesome!"

I am sorely disappointed when I enter the very clean, simple but nice decor of the dining room. It's too small. It can't be set up for even our group to sit together and no space for a speaker. I asked the waiter about any other rooms where a group could meet, and he said they had none. I ate my bowl of chili and asked God, "So, I don't understand. It wasn't an Outreach after-all. This isn't going to work."

Continued in next post

*Anna is not her real name

The Gospel for *Anna: Part 3 of 4

"But He needed to go through Samaria" John 4:4

This is part three of how God answered my prayer for a woman I had begin intercession for five years previous.

I had thought I was going to speak to a large group at a local restaurant. I invited over 40 woman, and imagined that my fellow ladies of the Church Activities Meeting were also inviting many to come to the presentation of the timely topic of New Years' resolutions. I was so mistaken about the whole thing, I was upset about everything. Nothing was right and everything was getting worse.

I had all those invitations to rescind. The restaurant wasn't set up to even accommodate our group. Oh, we could eat there but I wouldn't be speaking. It wasn't the Outreach I had imagined at all. I didn't even get to give away the Bible tract in my pocket! "How could I get it so wrong, God! How could I have so misunderstood!"

God still had it all in control--of course. I was the one losing it--of course.

Disappointed, I left the restaurant rehearsing my apology to my 40 Facebook friends I had invited. At least I could do it on Facebook and not face-to-face!

I drove to the Realtor Office where my sister works. She wasn't busy and I spent a few hours sitting in her office while she worked and took phone calls. We discussed the boxes of items she wanted to store at my place and I expressed my delight at finally getting her Elliptical exercise machine she promised at Christmas. Her husband's brother and his wife were moving into their trailer. He has severe Crohn's disease and can't work. Her sister-in-law's part-time work couldn't keep up with the rent of their apartment, so they would need the small bedroom of my sister's trailer.

Then the phone rang and it was *Anna, her sister-in-law. She had called the ambulance that morning to take her husband to the Emergence room. He was vomiting blood. The Doctors had stabilized him but she would need a ride home. Anna doesn't drive.

My sister's husband is deaf, so he couldn't answer the phone to know that Anna needed a ride. My sister couldn't leave work but would it be alright if I went to pick Anna up and take her home? Sure, no trouble, Be glad to help. So it was arranged that when Anna was ready, she would call my house and let me know she wanted a ride home. The Hospital where she was is about ten minutes from my house. 

I drove the thirty minutes back home praying to God that this, finally, was the Outreach intended. "Could I possibly have the nerve to speak to Anna? Was this the opportunity to tell Anna about You God?"

I got home and explained the trouble to my husband regarding the restaurant debacle. I then sat down and began apologizing to the 40 Facebook friends, explaining in private messages why there wouldn't be a Ladies lunch at the restaurant, nor would I be speaking after all. I knew they all weren't going to come, but I had sent the invitations, so I had to apologize to all of them.

Anna called for her ride. As I was getting ready, I told my husband to pray for the opportunity to give the Gospel to Anna. On the way, I asked God to open the way for me to speak to her. To make it the easiest opening ever so I couldn't make a mistake. I would have about fifteen minutes to speak to her from the hospital to her apartment. God, help me tell Anna the Gospel.

Continued in next post

*Anna is not her real name.