Complete Swap & Trade--It's A Great Deal!!!

I have a 1 billion dollar, fully furnished home, on 1000 acres of private landscaped land. I offer to completely swap it for your house. Plus it's tax free and I pay for all maintenance for the rest of your life. Also, before you leave your house, you may smash all the windows, break everything inside, destroy the grounds, tear huge holes in every wall, floor and ceiling. You have the privilege of running up a huge mortgage, and homeowner's debt.

And I swap my beautiful home... completely to you for yours, no strings attached...would you take it?

Jesus has such a deal with you.

God has given absolutely everything He had, even going to death on the cross.

He offers you eternal life with Him in Paradise and all you have to do is give Him your life now, with all it's broken pieces, dirty laundry, loaded baggage.

He'll make a complete swap with you, giving you His eternal life, His comfort, His peace, His new birth, His riches in heaven and a new body on the new earth He has prepared for the future.
You exchange all the temporary brokenness of this life for paradise without end in the next.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have become new" 2 Corinthians 5:17.

Everyone born from Adam is dead in their trespasses and sins. Only through Jesus can you be born again into the new life of righteousness and be prepared for God's kingdom.

You can choose to live in paradise with God or you can choose to die forever in hell. God only pleads with you to ask Him for forgiveness and salvation from eternal death. God won't force you to accept eternal life. It's your choice.

While I do not have a 1 billion dollar home to swap--if the offer came to you, would you turn down a 1 billion dollar home that comes without strings?

So- would you turn down God's offer of His free salvation?

"He who believes in the Son has everlasting life; and he who does not believe the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God abides on him" John 3:36.

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I Can’t Believe Spurgeon Didn’t Say That-Guest Blog by Joel littlefield

This article is posted by permission. Visit Joel Littlefield's personal Blog Made to Make Disciples to read more.



I Can't Believe Spurgeon Didn't Say That

A couple days before my new book, Beeline to the Cross, released to the public, I found out some slightly disappointing news. I had been speaking with Christian George, one of my book’s endorsers, about some possible promo ideas. The thought of having his help to get the word out about the book was tremendous. If you don’t know who he is, Christian is the Curator of the Spurgeon Library at Midwestern Theological Seminary, and the assistant professor of historical theology.

Basically, if you want to know something about Spurgeon’s life and ministry, he’s your guy. And if you want to promote a book that has a title that was inspired by Spurgeon, then he’s your man. That’s why I reached out to him in the first place. I’m grateful to have connected with Christian.

In the process of our discussion he asked me if I could tell him where the original source is to the quote that inspired my book’s title. Charles Spurgeon is credited thousands of times by authors and theologians all over the world for saying, “I take my text and make a beeline to the cross.” It’s such a good quote and it sounds so much like Spurgeon that I never thought for a second as to whether or not he actually said it. How couldn’t he have?

So I began searching as deep as I could. Mostly google of course, but digging into sermons and old biographies, trying to find a place where Spurgeon actually said it himself. I kept coming up with pastors, authors or Church historians saying, “Spurgeon once said in regards to his preaching, ‘I take my text and make a beeline for the cross'”. Hey, that’s exactly what I said.

I was getting frustrated and honestly a little discouraged. Was the original “quote” that became the early inspiration for my book actually a falsehood?

Christian George and a team of guys at the college had also dedicated some time over the summer to finding this citation. They came up empty handed too. If they can’t find it, I’m not sure anyone can. So, now what? Is my book a fake? Was it not worth publishing because quite possibly Spurgeon never said what I, and so many others, thought he said?

I don’t think so. And here’s why.

Whether or not Spurgeon said it, he still did it. I believe he displayed a dedication to getting himself and his people to the cross in nearly every sermon. Was it always a direct line to the cross? Maybe not direct, but he got there one way or another. I’ll be encouraging people to make a beeline to the cross till the day I die.

That’s the whole purpose of the book. That’s why I wrote it. Because I believe it!

The Apostle Paul spoke strongly about preaching Christ and Him crucified. In fact, he made it a determination in his life to be known for that. He didn’t want to be the preacher who was known for his eloquence, his style or his many accomplishments regardless of the method. He wanted Christ to be exalted in the Church and for people to know the love of God in Christ; a love that was displayed perfectly at the cross.

I believe the message of the cross of Jesus is so significant and so powerful today that whether you’re a preacher, a student, a factory worker or school bus driver; your life can be dramatically altered in going there. As a believer, as you grow in your knowledge of the work of the cross you will experience needed change, life-strengthening power and the inspiration you need in order to do all that God has called you to do.

I stand with confidence on the premise of “Beeline to the Cross”. Not because Spurgeon did or didn’t say it, but because the cross should be and needs to be that important to all of us.

So what did Spurgeon say about the cross? Here’s just a few.

“The cross is the focus of all human history—I was almost going to say it is the centre of the life of God, if such a thing can be. All the ages meet in Calvary. Jesus is the central Sun of all events.” Sermon #786 – The Great Mystery of Godliness.

“No scene in sacred history ever gladdens the soul like the scene on Calvary. Nowhere does the soul ever find such consolation as on that very spot where misery reigned, where woe triumphed, where agony reached its climax.” Sermon #126 – Justification By Grace.

“The cross is the standard of victorious grace. It is the light-house whose cheering ray gleams across the dark waters of despair and cheers the dense midnight of our fallen race, saving from eternal shipwreck, and piloting into everlasting peace.” Spurgeon Sermons Volume 31 – The Cross Our Glory.

“I wish that our ministry—that mine especially—might be tied and tethered to the cross. I have no other subject to set before you but Jesus only.” Sermon #1940 The Best Bread.

Salvation, life, victory, forgiveness, joy, friendship with God and true satisfaction is found in Jesus Christ; at His cross. Once you’ve discovered that that is the source; the spiritual life-giving nectar for the Christian life, return to that source every minute of every day. Do not turn to the left or to the right, but look only to Jesus; to His cross, and to the work He accomplished there on your behalf.

Truth be told, there a several other quotes that have been attributed to Spurgeon which he never said. Dr. Christian George recently wrote the article, Six Things Spurgeon Never Said, that covers that very subject. I recommend you all give it a read. Then head over to Amazon and grab a copy of my book. You can let me know what you think by leaving a good review when you’re done.

Remember, in all of life and in every season, make a beeline to the cross.

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Joel Littlefield

Joel is a husband, father of three, pastor and worship leader. His desire for blogging and writing is from a heart for the Body of Christ to glorify God in everything, and through every season.

To read more of Joel's writings, visit Made to Make Disciples 

Joel is the author of

Grace In Crossville (Amazon)
and
Beeline to the Cross (Barnes & Noble)
(Tate Publishing & Enterprises LLC.)
& Amazon

Beeline to the Cross

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Jesus- God Our Servant

"For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve,

and to give His life a ransom for many" Mark 10:45.

Some of the things Jesus did:

He listened. He taught.
He wept with and for people.
He fed people. He led people. He walked with people. He ate with people.
He attended parties.
He helped people. He healed.
He read. He told the truth to everyone.
He played with children. He prayed for people. He counseled.
He gave people what really they wanted. He told people how to do things.
He gave examples. He gave Himself as an example.
He told stories. He cooked meals. He was willing to go anywhere.
He observed God’s laws and man’s laws, (when they didn’t contradict.) He was obedient to God the Father.
He loved people, even His enemies.
He sang songs.
He traveled with little expense. He was honest and just in all His dealings.
He forgave.
He touched the untouchable. He approached the unapproachable.
He was kind.
He helped Fathers and Mothers. He spoke with both men and with women.
He accepted poor, rich, soldiers, businessmen and women, housewives, teachers, bankers, laborers, lawyers, government officials, religious and non-religious, sinners and self-righteous.

 And some things Jesus didn't do:

He never demanded service.
He never hurt people, not even His enemies.
He never manipulated anyone.
He never coerced anyone.
He never forced anyone to do or not do anything.
He didn’t gossip.
He didn’t hate anyone for deserting Him.
He never took revenge for an insult.
He never played tricks.
He never insulted anyone.

Christians have something in Jesus that the world religions cannot comprehend. Even as they search for what we have, they deny that we have found it in Jesus. Man-made religions and man-created gods make their followers obey rules as means of perfection.

The God who gave His life for the sins of the world not only asks us to obey, He provides the power to obey.

"Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself

unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in Me.

I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me and I in him,

bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing.” John 15:4 & 5.

• As a Man, Jesus was the best friend we could ever have.
• As Lord, Jesus deserves our obedience. 
• As our teacher, Jesus showed us how we ought to act and work.

As God, Jesus could have shown all His power and brought Himself the glory that is due Him. Instead of God crushing the rebellion of mankind in Adam, Jesus, the Savior, made this statement,

“If you love Me, keep My commandments" John 14:15

 Jesus gave us the examples; let us follow Him. 

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I Wish I Hadn't Done That

Adam was 130 years old when his son Seth was born, the very image of his father in every way. After Seth was born, Adam lived another 800 years, producing sons and daughters, and died at the age of 930. Genesis 5; 3, 4, 5 The Living Bible

All of us at one time must have said, “I wish I hadn’t done that.”

I heard a sermon on the radio how Genesis lists a genealogy with the striking conclusion: and he died,--and he died, -- and he died. The minister was talking about the fact of the curse, with our desperate need of someone to save us.

It occurred to me that Adam must have seen many people die before he did, maybe even thousands. That idea made me wonder if Adam grieved heavily as he watched people die. How hurt was he when Eve died? He had given her the name Eve, calling her the Mother of all Living. Was he there when she died? What were his thoughts now she was dead?

All this death was because of his choice in the Garden of Eden. As his descendants were born and died, even as repentant before God, Adam must have felt extreme guilt. I wonder if he walked closer to God after he left the garden. Did he ask for forgiveness each time someone died? To see a corpse for the first time and realize you were the leading cause! How horrible for both Adam and Eve!

Before his banishment from Eden, the smell of death and decay weren’t even a possibility. What must have it been like to experience the smell of death for the very first time? We have it with us all the time. In and around our homes, a common odor we never think about; our garbage cans, disposal units, dead leaves, overripe fruit, old food, rust, mold, bathtub rings, dirty clothes. We live with it and hardly ever think about it.

We watch movies and TV shows where death is the opening and closing scenes. There are many procedural shows where death is the attraction. The news tells us the horror of murders, crashes, suicides, accidents, and wars and we take it all as natural. We read obituaries and attend funerals because we know what they are. It must have been a shock to Adam the first time he saw death, even of an animal that first dead animal skin now covered his sinful, dying body. How awful it must have been to find his son Cain the instrument of the first hands-on life taking of his lineage!

It must have been so wonderful for Eve to give birth to Seth. She gave God glory recognizing this new child as Granted, or Given of God. She knew this child would be the line from which the promise of Salvation would come. Adam and Eve knew that at some point, God would do something about the curse of their sin and their posterity would be again live in perfect harmony with God. This must have been such a treasured promise when the true understanding of death was suddenly surrounding them.

Wow! What an ending to think about when you’re the first person on earth!

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Originally this was a page from my journal, which became the basis for

Chapter 7 of my EBook Squished! Why God Seemingly Destroys Our Fruit.

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A Personal Opinion of the Fall of Mankind in Genesis 3

A personal opinion of what happened in the Garden of Eden. This is not to be taken as fact but is just an idea of mine.

After he figured out that God loved these weak little creatures Jesus made, Satan wanted to be worshiped. However, because of his newly expressed pride, Satan was kicked out of heaven for trying to elevate his position to a god.

Therefore, angry at God for not accepting his self-appointed promotion, Satan decided to see wha...t damage he could do to God's perfect little creatures. He took a walk around the Garden of Eden watching and studying the man and his wife. Finally figuring out a way to hurt them, Satan approached Eve with his evil plans.


Satan succeeded in killing the relationship between God and man by getting Eve to question God's love for her simply by making her wonder why God would tell her not to do something.

Satan killed us all, bringing the wages of sin in the form of death to all people. Spiritual death and eternal separation in hellfire from our original relationship to God and physical death in our bodies that returns to the earth God formed us from.

Thank God for His gracious salvation Jesus provided through the cross!!

Completely rhetorical question---How long would you imagine it took Satan to figure out from which tree Adam and Eve weren’t to eat?

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Notes From The Gospel of Luke, Part 2

Here are more notes and comments from my Bible reading in the Gospel of Luke, along with the expanded clarifications of my thoughts.

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Luke18 & 19

     Chapter 18 introduces us to a young man who comes to Jesus with a question of the value of his own righteousness.

     The rich young ruler is upset when he finds he cannot buy his salvation but that he must have a change of heart. And Jesus says this after he leaves:

     "For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God" 18:25.

     Then we meet Zacchaeus in chapter 19, a very rich man who proves a rich man can enter the kingdom of God because he met Jesus and understood his riches meant nothing at all for his salvation.

Margin Note for the conversion of Zacchaeus: Contrast the rich young ruler who thought keeping the law would save him. Zacchaeus met with Jesus and was saved.

Expanded: Unlike the rich young ruler who was upset because salvation wasn't obtained through his social status, Zacchaeus' was commended by Jesus for his life-changing faith

     "And Jesus said to him, "Today salvation has come to this house, because he also is a son of Abraham" 19:9.

     Cross referenced Zacchaeus' story with Matthew 5:3.

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Luke 20:27-38 record the absurd question of the Sadducees about the resurrection.

     The Sadducees are the silliest cult that questions Jesus. They don't believe in the resurrection, the afterlife, spirits, or souls, yet they follow Jesus and pester Him about His knowledge of God? Whatever for?!

     Just like today. Born again Christians are followed by many who pester us about our faith in Jesus. They do not bother so much to question Buddhists, or Muslims, or witches, or Hindus, or Evolutionists about their faith or the origins of their religions. They ridicule, persecute and question the faith of Christians and attempt  to turn people from following Jesus.

     Notice Jesus' response to their question did not answer the Sadducees according to their religion, but He did speak Biblical truth to them, quoting Scripture.

     Matthew 4, Jesus answers Satan the same way--with Scriptural truth, quoting the Bible correctly. Not answering Satan according to his lies.

     Ephesians 6 says put on the armor of God and use the sword of the Spirit--the Word of God--The Scriptures. So does 2 Timothy 3:16, 17

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"Then Satan entered Judas, surnamed Iscariot, who was one of the twelve" 22:3

     What a sad verse. And after Satan used Judas, he destroyed him with so much guilt that Judas hanged himself. Matt 27:5)

     For many lost people today it's the same story. The same demons and Satan destroy people today with hate, anger, drugs, crime, murder, sex, possession and the like. And Satan even uses power and wealth sometimes to destroy people. After the demons are through sadistically playing with people as toys, they leave them broken and destroyed. If they haven't gotten them killed, then they bury them in so much guilt their former hosts kill or destroy themselves.

     And it all began in the Garden of Eden when Satan asked Eve to question God's love for her because God told her not to do something. Satan is still getting people to not believe God loves them.

But the Christian has a different perspective.

     "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood. but against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places" Ephesians 6:12.

    There are a lot of movies and books with the topic of demon possession. How interesting that many people will believe in demonic spirits possessing people to commit evil, yet they cannot accept the fact of God the Holy Spirit indwelling people to give them eternal life.

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Bonus: from Luke 9:12-17, the record of Jesus feeding the multitude

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Notes From the Gospel of Luke

Here are a few notes I've written in the margins of my Bible while reading the Gospel of Luke. I've also added further explanations for clarification.

Margin Notes From the Gospel of Luke

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"and this woman was a widow of about eighty-four years, who did not depart from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day" Luke 2:37.

Margin Note: Anna was not a bitter old woman but a woman of faith.

Expanded: What a remarkable woman--God honored Anna by mentioning her faith in His Bible.

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"For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, of him the Son of Man will be ashamed when He comes in His own glory, and in His Father's, and of the holy angels" 9:26.

Margin Note: Those who reject Jesus' salvation. --the unbelievers-- & cross reference: Hebrews 10:29-31.

Expanded: I have often seen this verse used as a threat on a few Social Media sites, mostly against Christians, that to prove you are not ashamed of Jesus you must Like/Share/Repost the meme. Which is absolutely silly.
     In reality, those in trouble with for being ashamed are unbelievers. It is speaking to those who reject Jesus as God and Savior. They will not be accepted by Jesus or the Father, and even the angels Jesus brings with Him, which are merely the servants of God.
     To be an embarrassment to God's lowly household servants is something of which to be ashamed!

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"And He was casting out a demon,... 11:14

No margin note but I do have this comment:
     This made me smile when I read it. It just struck me as so simple a thing for God to do and yet it was important for the Holy Spirit to record it in the Bible for us to understand the control that God has over the evil forces in this world.

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"He also spoke this parable: 'A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none' 13:6.

Margin note: Longsuffering/Patience & cross reference 2 Peter 3:9

Expanded: Luke 13:6-9 is the full parable of the fruitless fig tree and is a great picture of God's longsuffering toward us. His grace is immeasurable.

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"therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?" 16:11.

No margin note but this comment:
     In Luke16, Jesus unfolds the parable of the unjust steward and Lazarus and the rich man. I have heard sermons on each of these separately, yet, what I understand is they are teaching the same thing.
     The tying verses are "So the master commended the unjust steward because he had dealt shrewdly. For the sons of this world are more shrewd in their generation than the sons of light. And I say to you, make friends for yourself by unrighteous mammon, that when you fail. they may receive you into an everlasting home" 16:8,9.
     God says Christians need to think shrewdly with the money we receive in this world, not as the unjust steward, but as good stewards toward the things of heaven.
     The rich man did many things for himself in this world before he died, yet it did absolutely nothing for him in the torments of hell fire.
     Think about how poor Lazarus carefully spent his money, even the tiny crumbs of what he could get begging. How he must have carefully used everything he bought, or received by the hand of anyone's donation.
     Bible teaching, God-fearing Churches today regularly work on very little finances, yet God says that we can actually use our gifts and tithes to our advantage and for the kingdom of God--and with Jesus' quote of Abrahams' and the rich man's words in vss 29-31, we know that preaching the gospel is the most important work for which we need to have finances.
     I think of Paul. He didn't enter a city with programs to feed the hungry, cloth the naked, or house the homeless--he entered a city with the purpose to preach the gospel. That was what his finances were for--the furtherance of the gospel!
     When people are saved after hearing the gospel--then God feeds them, clothes them and houses them. It just happens that way.

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What are some of the verses in Luke you have purposefully marked, or some notes you have written in your Bible?

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Jesus Wants Us To Be Happy

Have you ever been wildly, hysterically happy, laughing, smiling and rejoicing?

What makes you happy?

"...I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly" John 10:10.

Jesus came to a sinful world to give us all things in great amounts—that is abundance. He certainly gives us salvation to the fullest. No one who asks Jesus to save them is only a little bit saved are they? No, if we accept Christ’s death for our sins, we are altogether saved. Just as He gives us the promise of eternal life, Jesus wants us to enjoy ourselves while we wait here.

Jesus said we would live life more fully. That means we get to enjoy food, games, our families, friends, sunsets and sunrises, more than the unsaved. We sing more wonderful songs. We have more love for everyone, and we enjoy the company of others who believe the same things. That’s Fellowship. If we are trusting in Jesus for our salvation, our lives should show others that we are happy that we are saved and going to heaven.

Can we be happy all the time? no.

Jesus came to give us the same happiness He gave the Israelites in His days here on earth. Why would Jesus need to tell the Israelites in His day He came to give them full lives, or abundant lives? The Israelites in Jesus’ day were all under the Roman Government rules. The Romans were hard rulers, making life hard for anyone not Roman and most certainly anyone who was Jewish.

Today, just as then, many factors such as discrimination, oppression, and a strong growing hatred the world over make life difficult for Christians. We have victory in Jesus that overcomes the standard of anger and hatred. We can spread light, laughter, joy and happiness, because Jesus wants us to be happy.

That doesn't mean to be stupidly ignorant of the bad things happening around us. Nor is a sin to be sad or depressed. But as Christians, we should exhibit a joy that we know Jesus, and especially are known by Jesus.

How does our happiness affect others around us? Ever start to giggle and have others begin to giggle because you’re giggling?

How does it affect you when other people are happy? Ever start laughing because the other person is laughing?

Jesus wants us, as Christians, to let other people know that we have our happiness in Him. That the joy and happiness others see in us will make them want Jesus as their Savior.

This week, use your love of Jesus as your reason for all that you do. When you do your schoolwork, your chores, when you’re in town, when you’re talking with anyone, or whatever it is. Note the affects it has on you. Note the effects it has on others. Our obedience in the simplest acts of love makes Jesus happy.

Jesus wants us to be happy and to share our happiness with others.

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When It Counts--Fiction

     It had to be seconds but it seemed hours since my wheels disengaged from the track, slammed home to dig in and flip me into an airborne spin. A small hunk of debris causing a blown tire and my career as a Driver floated away with the wind streaming by at a hundred and sixty miles per hour. The Owners weren’t going to want to keep my contract; I couldn’t even win a 250 that didn’t count anyway.

     I shouldn’t have been in this race to begin with. I had taken this detour from the regular schedule to enter a short track race. It wasn’t in the points race and for all purposes I had no business to risk it. After begging LaDrews Racing for this opportunity, I’d blown it again. Maybe I hadn't fully convinced them of the great advertising opportunity, but they let me enter anyway. After-all, I'd begun on tracks like this. This was Kindergarten stuff for a Driver who's scored two-time second place at Daytona.

As the car went around for another spin, I saw any possible win at next year's Daytona fly away with the left front wheel. What good was the dream of Daytona when I'd wrecked LaDrews Dodge car two days before qualifying for Talladega. They were probably already exchanging my name on the roster for my teammate’s name.

     Kelsey was a good driver, yet he wasn’t a risk taker, never scratching the paint. The LaDrews brothers hired me for my nerve but I’d been a disappointment, even to myself.

     The car came down on its roof with a bone-jarring bang and immediately lifted for another round of flips. Metal and fiberglass flew in every direction. When would this crazy ride quit? I wasn’t enjoying it. Race car driving was about precision, deliberation, courage and most of all control.

     Right now, I had no control.

   We have no control.  That’s what that preacher said in church last Sunday; that little church my wife, Viv, insisted we attend. He’d said something about God being in control of everything.

     “God, if you’re in control, why don’t you stop this kaleidoscoping automobile?” I was screaming but the roaring of tearing metal screamed louder so I couldn't even hear myself.

     The stop seemed as frightening as the flying. My thrashed body felt stunned, even surrounded by the safety gear. Trapped in the demolished car, I watched the rescue vehicles arrive. I was still saying something but my head was still spinning to rapidly to register my own thoughts. Like the tire that was still rolling down the track to the infield my mind was running away with a jumble of thoughts. Maybe my life was flashing before my eyes, but it didn't look very familiar at the moment.

     “Gary, you all right?”

     I heard that and looked out at the anxious face of the attendant. I calmly replied, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

     While someone blew fire-retardant all over what was left of what had been a championship racecar, the rescue crew peeled the mangled metal apart and helped me out. The attendants took my arms as I stumbled.

     I grinned. “Went around too many times, dizzy.” My legs gave out and they caught me before I face-planted the asphalt.

     “Ambulance, Gary,” one said. “Get you checked out.” I was in no condition to complain as they lifted me and laid me on a gurney, strapping me down to restrict movement. "Just a short trip, relax." The attendant smiled. "The doctor'll fix you up"

     Whatever he might have said next was lost when the world suddenly became a humongous soft black pillow that swallowed me whole.

    Vivian, my wife, was in the room when I woke up, an open bible in her lap, her IPad in her hand, with the earbuds tucked in her dainty little ears. Seeing my open eyes, she smiled and pulled the earphones from her ears, brushing her long dark soft hair back.

     “Hey, Viv, been waiting long?”

     She stood by the bedside, taking my hand gently so not to disturb the tubes sticking out of my arms. That's when I noticed I was strapped down. “What’s all this?” I asked, staring around at the life monitors.

     “How do you feel?”

     Feeling foolish, lightheaded and wanting to giggle at the silliness of it all, I wondered what sort of drugs I was on, because giggling hadn't been in my repertoire for years. I grinned at her. “I'm hungry.” That was my standard line for her usual question of 'How are you?' but it didn't seem to have the same effect this time.

the conversation paused as a nurse came in and did a thorough check of everything, making sure I was in fact conscious. her only words apart from the usual commands of follow the light she shown in my eyes, 'squeeze my fingers as heard as you can', 'Are you in pain', and 'Don't hesitate to call the nurses station for anything you need', she left with the obvious statement, "The Doctor will be in shortly."

    Alone again, I made a smart crack about sponge baths just to tease Vivian. I was getting annoyed that Vivian seemed to be in a downer mood.

     "What's with you? I know you are afraid of my racing, but I'm fine. I'm alive. You should be happy now I won't be able to drive at Talladega." I lay back on the pillow. "Probably be sitting out the rest of the season if LaDrew really gets steamed over the mess I made."

     Vivian laid her hand on the blanket over my leg. “Do you know you were screaming into your mike?”

     I blushed easily. “Yeah, I know.”

     “Do you remember what you were saying?”

     “Why?” I asked. “Does it matter?”

     "Harmen LaDrew was in and gave me a copy of your mike recording." With a light touch, she placed one of the IPad's earbuds in my ear, and I found myself listening to the playback of my voice recording during the wreck. My eyes met hers, amazed at what I was hearing. I didn't remember any of it.

     Her eyes were loving, concerned. “Did you really ask Jesus to save you?”

     “I must have, it’s right there.” Flippantly, I added, “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

     “Gary, how do you feel?”

     “I’m fine. What’s with you?”

      “Can you feel my hand?”

     I looked down at the sheet laying along my entire length. For a moment I was worried but then relieved to see I had two feet poking the sheet at the end of my legs. I watched Vivian's hand squeeze my right knee. She has long nails and she was squeezing hard, those nails pressing into my flesh through the sheet. Suddenly I was scared. My eyes lifted to hers, “What’s wrong?”

    “Your back is broken.” Her big brown eyes spilled tears. “Gary, did you mean it? Did you cry out to Jesus?”

    I lowered my head to the pillow and  stared at the ceiling. I whispered, “Lord Jesus, I mean it now.”

The End

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